Women Worldwide

Shake your tail feathers, baby

Diane Shadwell has come a long way since her early aversion to the women of greenham common. Now she concedes that, perhaps, sisterhood isn’t so bad after all.

Many years ago, International Women’s Month would, for me, have conjured up images of moustached women knitting jumpers using their pubic hair to cast on, while belting out We Shall Overcome. This, (I can’t justify it), stems from sometime in the 1980’s when I came across a book called Our Bodies Ourselves, which was full of black and white pictures of women hugging each other not looking particularly happy. The fact that they were breast feeding their seven year olds, whilst spooning natural yogurt on their ladies bits, led me to resent the whole idea of womanhood and sisterhood.

The fact that they were breast feeding their seven year-olds, whilst spooning Natural yogurt on their ladies bits, led me to resent the whole idea of womanhood and sisterhood.”

I was 18, very immature, and wanted everything in my life to be packaged nicely, with little bows all shiny and sparkly. So I was never really bothered with how women got the vote, and the terrible sacrifice made to get it. The Greenham Common women left me confused, and I remember watching the news with my mum thinking, “I bet when they go into their tents, they talk about one another behind their backs”. Shallow? Me? Yes. Dopey? Definitely.

So why should we celebrate International Women’s Month? Wind another twenty or more years on, and I hope I can have a more rounded and mature view of what this month should be about. Well to be honest, after looking into the history, the sacrifices made, the struggle, the integrity of women who were involved from when it all began in 1910 to now, then yes, it should be celebrated, but in an upbeat and ‘celebratory’ way: Dancing in the streets to Aretha Franklin belting out Respect. Fireworks and party hats. Ending with a massive conga around the streets of the world - all in praise of womens achievements.
One of my greatest achievements is, and this is a strange one, I have learnt to be nice. Me! Not only that, but nice to other women. It sounds perverse, but after so many years of feeling like an outsider and looking at women as if they were a different species, I can now be part of a sociable group. I can join in conversations and not sit like a wallflower picking my nails and thinking “Dull. Dull. Dull.” I think this is because, as a woman in my 40’s, I don’t feel like I need to judge or be judged. I am happy. Strange but true.

As proof of this I recently met a woman I have never liked, who has all the character traits I despise (and she flirts with my boyfriend). She tries to be kooky and vulnerable but I have never fallen for it. Oops, I forgot I am being nice. So as I stood there, I didn’t focus on her crooked teeth or overly dyed black hair, (too much when you have a bony face and hooked nose). No, I wished her well and said we must do coffee sometime. Now that for me is nice. Even if I didn’t mean it.

Turning the clock back again to when I was part of a female double act, I recall a particular gig that we had stormed. As we left the stage however, the compare said to the audience, “Well that’s care in the community for you lads. Don’t give them a hard time, they’ll only cry, and talk about their periods.” Afterwards, in the smoke-filled dressing room he scratched the eczema patch on his flaking bald head and asked us what we were up to next.
“A sketch show for Radio Four.” We replied sweetly.

“And then a pilot series for Channel Four.”

“Who did you sleep with to get that then girls?”

Oh, how we all laughed. The men very loud, my friend and I tittered and almost blushed. Now when I go to comedy meetings, it’s amazing - nothing has changed. The men still sit round talking about their favourite Monty Python sketch, laughing at each others jokes.
When they finally stop and allow me to speak, they look around blankly when I reveal my ideas for a sketch, only to come up with the same idea later on. And I must say it’s true that when a female comic comes on, the audience hold their breath and pray she will make at least one joke that is a bit funny.

So woman of the world unite - stop the train, the bus, anything, but get on board and shake your tail feathers, baby. *

Comedian and writer Diane Shadwell has written sketch shows for Radio 4, been part of the double comedy act, Maureen Duffy and her twin sister Maureen. She has just written a children’s book called London Boy. She lives in north London with her two children and boyfriend.

Back Women Worldwide

Back: Home